You could ski off these slopes.
Hollywood has always been full of glamour and beauty, but what is behind all of that glitz, sparkling champagne, lipstick, limos & huge bank accounts? I’m thinking it’s eating disorders. I’ll be honest. I have always had a voluptuous figure and I have never been skinny. The ‘thinnest’ I have ever been was in college when I developed ulcerative colitis, lost my appetite, couldn’t eat anything for 2 weeks, and just started losing blood out my back door. And the compliments did not stop coming. ‘You look fantastic. Have you been working out?’ ‘Oh no, I’m just dying.’
People literally find women most attractive when they are the unhealthiest and least fit of their lives, like when they’re starving, and I find that hysterical. In white people land and in Hollywood culture, I feel like skinniness is still considered the height of female beauty while a voluptuous figure is viewed upon with scorn and somehow means you’re lazy. I could sell movie tickets out the hooha with this body, and you can take that to the bank and cash it. And I don’t mean to brag, but just to make a point, you could ski off these curves into outer space and not know how to find your way back to earth. I’m just sayin.
My blood type is that of the hunter gatherer, type O, the oldest modern human blood type. For hundreds of thousands of years, we survived off of any kills we could make from the herds. Food was always scarce, and we were always active to keep up with the herds because they provided us with nourishment. My body was built for long periods of exercise when not eating fruits, vegetables and meats throughout the day. So I try to get as much exercise as I can when I am not working. I walk everywhere, but that does not make me skinny. People have said, why don’t you try going vegan or paleo? I don’t feel like I get enough energy to live my life if I don’t eat animal foods and carbohydrates.
I understand that Hollywood thinks a particular ‘look’ will sell their movies. But who’s to say my figure wouldn’t sell tickets? Speaking of bodies, this body can do so much, much more than a lot of women out there whose bodies have less of a body mass index than mine does. I have taken pole dancing class with women who are much larger than I am and they could get up there and do all kinds of tricks I couldn’t do. And when I took a gymnastics class, I had far more strength than a lot of the skinnier girls in the class. You cannot judge people’s strength and health by their body types, and every body type deserves to be loved and appreciated. Additionally, my body is probably healthier than a lot of the skinny actresses you see on tv who smoke behind the scenes to quell their appetites and use drugs for the same reason.
To make another point, there’s a lot of gender bias when it comes to being overweight. It is a sin for women and a relaxed standard for men. And for men, it’s much more about your acting ability than your body, while for a woman, it’s the opposite. It seems like the only way to actually make it in LA as a female who is not skinny is to become a comedian, and that is short-sighted and narrow minded for Hollywood to put women in a box like that, and they are missing out on so much talent because of it. The roles for women are strictly written and not kind or welcoming to women of all body types.
The breakdowns (roles on LA casting and Actors Access) either ask for curvy or slender. What about just HEALTHY? I am literally too fat for the skinny roles and too skinny for the fat roles. Where is my place here? Hollywood doesn’t think my body type would sell movie tickets? I think they are mistaken, considering how many men hit on me and want my number. On top of this, women are not even PAID the same wage for roles! After we work so damn hard to overcome all the double standards, WE ARE STILL NOT EVEN PAID FAIRLY! FOR WORKING TWICE AS HARD AND BEING TWICE AS TALENTED. ‘So why stay in the industry?’ Because I am meant to do this.