LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX
Sex has been a taboo topic in society for as long as I can remember. I never had sex ed, other than learning about anatomy in Biology class. And the one time we ever touched on the subject, my teacher became so uncomfortable at even mentioning the word ‘clitoris’ that she said ‘I am only going to say this word once and I’ll say it fast – this is the clitoris.’ She said it so fast I wasn’t even sure if I heard it. And that was it. That was my introduction to sex as far as the public education system was concerned. And it was pathetic. Adults just expect for teenagers to learn about sex by themselves, from the internet and from their peers, and this creates a web of confusion and misinformation. Plus, it contributes to the increased likelihood of people contracting STI’s and having unwanted pregnancies.
I understand there are a lot of politics around sex and some parents don’t want their kids ‘exposed’ to that information, but if you don’t educate kids about sex openly, they’ll find back door ways to explore it (excuse the pun…or don’t). More often than not, that results in people using porn as a way to learn about sex, and porn is a completely warped view about what sex actually is. It’s mostly geared toward male pleasure, too, and that’s not cool. Female pleasure is very important: it plays a central role in pregnancy, emotional bonding, health, happiness, wellbeing, and having the full human experience inside of a female body.
Even before my lifetime, the topics of female sexuality, anatomy and pleasure were highly taboo. Along with organized religion about 5000 years ago came the beliefs that women were ‘tainted’ and ‘dirty’ because they had periods and had doomed all mankind by eating the forbidden fruit in the garden of eden. This is complete crap, and lies are the reason for all suffering in the world. This is perhaps the greatest lie ever told: that women are inferior to men and are the cause of humanity’s suffering.
It could be argued that it is really the other way around: that men are the cause of humanity’s suffering because of their insatiable greed for wealth at the expense of other human beings. And the subsequent vilification of women due to religion and other systems of belief has led to the unfortunate, abusive and absolutely heinous systematic dehumanization of females ever since. Without female intellect and power, society has become incredibly corrupt and unbalanced. This has led to such great evils as poverty, war and mass pollution and waste. This can, and must, be rectified.
But back to sex. Only ~ 40% of women achieve orgasm in heterosexual sex if they have long term partners, and only ~ 10% of women have orgasms with a casual partner. That is terrible. Men cum just about every time when they have sex, or else what is sex for, right? But women climax less than half of the time, even when in a long term relationship, and with casual partners, it’s 1/10 times! Yikes! Where does this inequity come from? In cultures all over the world, sexual pleasure is considered a privilege more often reserved for men. In countries in Africa, as one of the most extreme examples, girls are subjected to Female Genital Mutilation, or FGM, in their youth where their clitoris is surgically removed. This is performed WITHOUT their consent. This egregious act exists because men want to be assured that women will loyal to them, and what better way of doing that than removing a woman’s ability to experience pleasure? How horrific.
Pleasure being reserved for men can also be seen in the west. Porn is usually created by men for men, and when men watch porn, they become brainwashed to believe that what they are seeing is a realistic portrayal of sex and how to please women. It is not. Interpersonal and emotional investment is what makes sex great, not just the physical act of sex itself. The physical act performed by itself without emotional investment is empty. Giving a woman an orgasm is about making her feel cared about and relaxed, and that is an emotional investment, not a physical one. Further, porn is fake. People are pretending to enjoy what they’re doing because they are being paid to entertain you. It’s not a realistic portrayal of two people actually doing what feels good TO THEM. So as a result, a lot of people think sex is a man stabbing his penis into a woman several times, and that is sad.
The other problem is that women will pretend to have orgasms so that men don’t feel bad, but lies cause suffering. The human body has evolved to use orgasms as a brilliant way to neutralize pain, slow aging, create deeper bonds between partners, stimulate the immune and cardiovascular systems and improve mood. And, the ability to orgasm took billions of years to evolve, and women need to experience it to live full healthy lives. Yet women are too afraid to admit when they are not enjoying themselves. Be honest ladies. Men need to know when it’s not good, and you need to be honest with yourself, too. We all have needs, and life’s far too short for stupid lies. Trust me.
Also gentlemen, knowing where the female pleasure center is located is a plus. I find it comical that men watch so much porn and yet still can’t find a clitoris. Like wtf? It’s a treasure map they’ve seen a million times and they still can’t find the x? Wow. And even if they know where it is, sometimes they don’t even know what to do with it. How can you possibly be seductive or please someone when you don’t know where the source of their pleasure comes from? Additionally, being compassionate is as powerful as knowing how to touch someone. It’s all about how you make the person feel, and touch only heightens this experience; it does not take its place.
It seems that as people age, they come to understand that beauty is culturally and socially constructed, and these constructs can subconsciously inhibit people from enjoying sex because they are shy about their bodies. Scream if you have to get over it, but get over it so you can enjoy your life. Your body is perfect. Plus, I don’t even think men care if women wear makeup, do their hair or wear expensive clothes; it seems to me like they just want the bare, natural, naked woman when all is said and done.
Another problem is that the way that girls are treated can depend largely on whether they conform to standards of beauty. It is a much-needed break when a girl is appreciated for just being herself and not conforming to anything. She can finally feel comfortable and liberated with someone who does not apply toxic beauty filters to her body and sees its perfection for what it is instead. Her timeless godliness, if you will. These are the keepers.
Women are lucky enough to have bodies and magical boxes that have evolved to allow them to experience intense pleasure for long periods of time. How exciting, and what a luxury to be born into such a body, if mankind would stop trying to control it. Further, a woman’s first orgasm during sex is wonderful, but each one afterward is even better than the last, and with the right partner, and even some role play, it can get REALLY fun! Woo!
A lot of men complain about how difficult women can be to please, but they also degradingly call girls crazy, which means they don’t take girls’ thoughts seriously. They don’t care about how women feel, even as much as girls try to express themselves, and that’s going to create problems in the bedroom. Being in tune with someone else’s feelings is very important to unlocking their pleasure center. Orgasms come from a place of mutual respect.
Compassion, open-mindedness, empathy and sensitivity create better sexual experiences for both partners. And these are not female concepts, they are human concepts. To be compassionate is not to be feminine, it is to be human and to want to create a more fulfilling experience. Men are sometimes not raised to be empathic, and worse, sometimes they are raised to selfish and think they are superior to women, and this is not true. Because of this lie, suffering ensues, as lies are the reason for all of the suffering in the world. But if men were raised to be empathetic and care as much about their partner’s pleasure as they did their own, even deriving their pleasure from their partner’s, and not only respected women, but elevated and worshiped them, it would lead to HUGE gains. Huge.
.:. Thanks for Reading .:.
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